1 Don’t be too nasty. Open up with a bit of affectionate nostalgia. Then, once you’ve secured that chorus of ‘Aaaahs’, crucify him.

2 Keep your speech snappy. Avoid rambling like a drunk.

3 Contact friends and family for funny stories. The audience will find his bed-wetting exploits as a five-year old funny. The same story about a drunken 25-year-old will probably receive a less rapturous applause.

4 Don’t open with a cliched Best Man joke. An unanimous groan will do nothing for your ego.

5 Don’t switch between subjects. Write the speech so each story flows into the next. Then you won’t have to worry about punchlines falling flat or awkward pauses.



For the rest of the tips, check out the August issue of Maxim: Out now at all newsstands!